Shred This Slang

The following are a selection of slang or cliché words of the present time – found on the internet, in conversation and popular culture – that are doomed, and you should stop using them.

Because + _____

“Because science” and “because politics” are not answers. It was funny when people first started saying it, but it’s played out and sounds less intelligent than those who use it.

Cheers

It’s such a unanimous way to thank and say goodbye, but it must stop. I’ve seen receptionists say cheers sixteen times in three minutes. Unless you are handing me a beer, don’t tell me cheers.

Doin’ and Goin’

This one reminds me of Doge speak – “How you doin’” – except too clear and lacking proper verbage. How doing? is better. These words should never be contracted.

Da and Tha

These one’s just need to die with the rest of the nineties. When I read these these alternatives to “the,” my mind hears only the idiocy of the speaker.

Funner

This grammatical mess is okay for four year olds.

Hashtag

Unless you’re legitimately tagging or discussing a real social media campaign, adding useless hashtags to your filtered instagram photos and bored tweets should stop in 2014.

Hipster

This word has been so bastardized ,it’s now just a word describing the cultural outcome of the millennial generation. Everyone was a hippy in the seventies… some only just wore bellbottoms and felt bad about Vietnam. Read the definition of hipster on Urban Dictionary and tell me you don’t identify with at least some of the description. Maybe not the shag haircut, but the loose sexual identity and creative inclination, perhaps

Ratchet

Because naming a woman after a tool is not okay (see: hoe) – what’s next, a spade or a wrench?

‘Totes

For a brief period, saying totes was cute and quirky, but now it sounds totally ridiculous.

‘Twerking

I understand 90’s revival, in fact I kind of love it – but no one knows why there’s a “T” in front of the word “work.”

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